If every drunken football fan looked this good misbehaving there would be no need for a fan conduct code. Unfortunately, the majority of the drunken idiots at fault are far less attractive.

Oh behave! If you continue to double-fist your way from the beer stands to your seat through four quarters of football, getting hammered and making a complete ass of yourself in front of hard-working folks and families who paid good money to see their team play, then it’s going to cost you. Actually, it will become the club’s responsibility to ensure their fans aren’t getting violent in the stands and if anyone is caught violating that policy the team will be fined. (You really don’t want your team’s number-one linebacker escorting you out of the stadium, do you?) Here’s the deal: NFL commissioner Roger Goodell issued a fan conduct policy on Thursday that will come into effect at the start of the upcoming NFL pre-season.

“We want everyone to be able to come to our stadiums, behave properly, enjoy this experience but don’t ruin it for others,” said Goodell. “We will be focusing on that, including the implementation of an NFL fan conduct policy which we will have out prior to the season.”

What does that mean? It means no more stabbings, no more beatings, no more bare-breasted strip acts…essentially no more idiotic behavior. Face painting is still a go, but face pulverizing is a big no.

That leaves plenty of fun to be had in the sportsbooks, where NFL Super Bowl odds are getting ripe as we speak!